Tuesday, September 2, 2008
GUSTAVS GONE, WE'RE SCREWED NOW
So, Hurricane Gustav turned out to be the Republicans Big Fat Didn't Work As A Distraction Bore.
No levee breaks.
No Black people to rescue (Oh Lawdy, where be de white people in dem whirlybirdies to save us all?) and show the world how much the President (is he still here?) and the Republicans care.
Gustav also let down Fox news. Round the clock split screens! Woo Hoo! Nothing. Nothing I tell you on two, two screens at once! Wait! there's no more! No Ginsu knives. No free attachments included. No free "Toby Keith's Patriotic Christmas" cd. Nada.
WAIT! Geraldo Rivera sees a MAN IN THE WATER! He rescues him! Sorta. Well, he would've have but an intern got to him first (that poor Geraldo, has he ever recovered from that whole Al Capone vault thing? Chin up Geraldo there'll be news on that little white girl soon, but hurry, Nancy Grace is already nawing on those decomposing bones.).
Gustav as a distraction worked just long enough for the entire country to remind itself how bored it was with the republican party.
Do you remember in school how you weren't prepared for a big test so you faked being sick so you wouldn't have to go to school? Instead of studying you watched Might Mouse and reruns of The Beverly Hillbillies (Granny is SO efing funny, trust me, watch it now. Stoned.). Well, you might have stretched it out two days. More cartoons, no studying. Eventually you had to go back to school.
That big fat "D" was all over your face as soon as you sat down and looked at the first question.
Now you understand the republican party this week in Minnetonka. They have spent 7 1/2 years not studying for the big test. They had to know this test was coming and all they did was find ways to call in sick. NOBODY in the entire party had any sort of backup plan in case, just maybe, the Dems had the best party convention ever! Did they not notice how happy and energized the Dems were in Denver?
Maybe they did.
Well John and Sarah and George and Darth, It's time to take your test.