Tuesday, September 23, 2008


When I was trying to raise funds to get to Denver I sent out a mass of emails to a group of LGBT realtor's I had met at an announcement party for the worlds first Gay resort (well, the kind you keep your clothes on) and casino here in Las Vegas.

I got several angry emails telling me not to send them anymore emails because they were republicans.


Not only was I dumbstruck that they seemed to miss the whole point of a former total loser trying to get back to life and taking an interest in his country ( "and playing the patriotic victim, Miss Anne Blythe substituting for Miss Garland for the rest of the run") but I really was thrown back by "I'm a republican!".

Oy! I'm late for my SS meeting! That schmuck at the butcher is so going to pay for this!

It gets better.

I made it through Denver and came back intent upon getting Barack Obama elected. After an Obama Pride ( the Bamahomos) conference call I knew i had to throw debate watching parties to get the LGBT (I hate that. Gays! Fags! Dykes! Drags! Not the bi's, they don't count. No one cares who they fuck) community to become involved in the election. Naturally. I mean, they said party.

So where do you call when you want to throw a big gay party?

How 'bout a big gay bar?!? Quelle simple. No?

No! Big fucking no!

I called the Eagle ( a trashy quasi leather bar that smells of old pee and boring slummers from Ohio) first because they are always pimping there staff out to the big gays (das baren) in the name of gay pride and bear dips (it's a pool party, not a delousing) and all manner of gay events. Gay events where they make money selling alcohol to homos who are willing to stand around in their panties for a cheap drink. Gay events.

Well, I was informed by the owner, "we can't do a Democratic event like that, we're republicans."

Leroy, get yo hood! Push down dem naps! Weez goin' be late t da klankave! Hurry yo narrow black ass up boy!

The Eagle is a republican bar!

Jesus and Mary Chain!

You know the worst part? Most of the homos I told didn't care.

Schlomo, hand me that lampshade. Ah, fine German craftsmanship.

Like the band on the Titanic, far too many fagelas are perfectly content playing as the ship goes down. As long as it doesn't affect them, who cares?

Guess what fags? It So affects you!

You upper "A" class homos with your store bought chinese babies, it affects you because Pop N Fresh doesn't want you to have the right to have any kids. Store bought or not. Your wedding wouldn't be getting booked at The Parker if Democrats hadn't been at the front of fighting for your right to get divorced (c'mon people, who exactly are we kidding here? Gay marriage is just an excuse to fuck with your ex legally)? Republicans turn the other way when a gay kid gets killed (Mathew Shepard) or when you and your queenie best friend get bashed outside of the Eagle.

I'm just saying.

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