SUE ME, I HAVE NOTHING

I'm gay.

Like Pink Ink.

Like purple Mink.

Like Zsa Zsa Gabor.

Like a bad French whore

I'm gay.

I love Family Guy! It's the gayest show ever!

Stewie and Brian have the best musical numbers! This is one of my favorites. It's the perfect number to describe my relationships with my best friends.

You and I Are so Awfully Different


Both: ♪ You and I are so awfully diff'rent ♪ ♪ Too awfully diff'rent, to ever be pals ♪

Stewie: Do you want to go first?

Brian: Yeah, I'll go. ♪ Your favorite hero is the Marquis de Sade ♪

Stewie: Oh, you're one to talk. ♪ You get a stiffy ♪ ♪ from Phylicia Rashad ♪

Brian: Oh, one time

Stewie: ♪ I've a style flair, just look at my hip hair ♪

Brian: Oh yeah, that's quite a nice 'do there

Stewie: Oh thanks

Brian: For me to poop on!

Stewie: What?

Brian: Oh c'mon you look like Charlie Brown

Stewie: Bite me, Snoopy

Both: ♪ There's not - a whole lot - that we've got, to agree on ♪

Brian: ♪ 'Cause I love the strings of a classical score. ♪

Stewie: ♪ And I like that singer who looks like a whore. ♪

Brian: Ricky Martin?

Stewie: Love him.

Both: ♪ We're too different to ever be pals ♪♪ You and I are ♪

Locals: ♪ Dododo ♪

Both: ♪ so awfully different ♪

Locals: ♪ Dododo ♪

Both: ♪ Too awfully different ♪

Locals: ♪ Dododo ♪

Both: ♪ to ever be pals ♪

Locals: ♪ Dododo dodo dodo dooyo dodo ♪

Brian: ♪ Your heads as massive as a meteorite ♪

Stewie: Oh, very funny. ♪ You have a weenie like a Christmas tree light ♪

Brian: ♪ I bet money, you'll marry a honey ♪ ♪ Who's pretty and funny ♪ ♪ And her name will be Ted ♪

Stewie: Oh a gay joke.

Brian: I just work with what you give me.

Both: ♪ You might think we're in sync ♪ ♪ But we stink, as a duo ♪

Brian: ♪ 'Cause you get a kick out of carnage and guts ♪

Stewie: ♪ And you get a kick out of stroking your... ♪

Brian: Whoa, whoa, whoa, you can't say that on TV

Stewie: What? Ego?

Brian: Never mind

Both: ♪ We're too different to ever be pals ♪