Tuesday, October 28, 2008

MY BIG FAT ASS HIGH CALORIC ADVENTURE


THE BIGGEST BUMMER ABOUT LIVING IN VEGAS IS THAT THERE AREN'T ANY CHEAP, GOOD PLACES TO EAT.

AND BUFFETS DON'T EVEN COUNT!

SO I WENT TO L.A.! TO EAT!

OH YEAH, I'M NOT COMPLETELY SHALLOW.

I ALSO DRANK. BUT THAT'S THE NEXT BLOG POST. REALLY.

BABYBOIS, I STARTED IN HIGHLAND PARK WHERE I FUCKED UP SOME FISH TACOS AT LA ESTRELLA! THEN I GOT A BAG OF FRUTAS MIXTAS FROM A RECENT ARRIVAL TO OUR COUNTRY.

I GOT BACK ON THE GOLD LINE (YES, REAL CITIES HAVE PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION) AND WENT TO CHINATOWN.

NOW, I KNOW YOU MUST BE ASKING YOURSELF, "DIDN'T FATASS JUST SAY HE JUST ATE"? WHY YES VIRGINIA, I DID. BUT, WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM MY FRIEND MR. FOUR DOS O I WAS MUNCHED OUT BY THE TIME I HIT C-TOWN. I PROCEEDED TO PORK BAO MYSELF INTO A STUPOR THEN FOLLOWED IT UP WITH LUCKY DELI WHERE A WHOLE MEAL IS THREE DOLLARS. US.

SO, I WALKED OVER TO LITTLE TOKYO WITH MY FOUR DOS O FRIEND TO KEEP ME COMPANY AND AFTER HITTING A COUPLE OF MUSEUMS (WHICH REAL CITIES DON'T CONNECT TO CASINOS.

I'M NOT VEGAS HATING.

I'M JUST SAYING.

AND THEN I FOUND A PLACE THAT SELLS OCTOPUS ON A STICK!

UMM!

YOU KNOW, IF YOU FRY IT, MY PEOPLE WILL EAT ANYTHING.

AFTER SOME MOCHI (JAPANESE ICE CREAM BUNS) I FELT I SHOULD GET BACK TO SOUTH PASADENA WHERE EVEN BLACK IS WHITE.

ON MY WAY I WENT FOR ONE OF MY FAVORITE DISHES AT MY FAVORITE TRANNIES WITH KNIVES IN THEIR WIGS BAR, JALISCO.

AT JALISCO MY FAVORITE HE/SHE BARTENDER MADE ME A HEALTHY MEAL OF TECATE, LIMON, SAL Y CLAMATO. I FINISHED THIS OFF WITH A DELICIOUS ORDER OF PORK RINDS WHICH CAME IN A DUSTY BAG AND WERE PERFECTLY STALE.

YES.

HEAVEN.

2 comments:

S. Silva said...

i hope this was an imaginary trip

dwashington314@gmail.com said...

hah! no, it was real. and look ma! no stroke!