Thursday, October 23, 2008

AINT YOU NEVER HEARD OF TARGET ENDORA?


In my life I have had MANY careers. I have worked for the Saudi Arabian Royal Family(please don't tell me no one flew on 12 September 2001 I drove those bitches to the airport!). I have been a fashion photographer. I was a model agent (we're getting closer to that story about getting deported from Her Majesty's Kingdom) I have dabbled in styling. I was the Art Department Coordinator at SITV and a producer of the TV show STYLEEYES.

I am also a major Homo.

I know me some fashion.

As a Fashionista (don't ever use that word. If you use that word you are not one)I have styled many shoots and usually with little or no budget. My bitches came out fabulous! Always. And I usually had enough money left over to get a twenty sack.

My mom is forever telling me to turn on QVC to see Beyonce's mom and her House of somebody collection. It's all perfectly nice and the prices are low. And you can make payments!

Target is a personal fave of mine. Designer looks and often by real designers. Issac Mizrahi paid his rent many a month by schlepping his wares there. And OY VEY THE PRICES.

Evidently Endora isn't aware of these places. She has been called out for spending like a jillion dollars at Saks and Niemans for her campaign wardrobe.

And she flew around her hugely expensive makeup artist.

Listen, Endora, I know several drag queens who would have gone on the road with you for some smokes, Krispy Kreme and a daily stop at Popeyes.

I know a couple of bitches who would have gone for an eightball.

And those queens would have been on call 24/7. They would have been in the closet taking apart the dvd players but they woulda been there.

Hell, I could have done her wardrobe for 42.50 with an afternoon at Fallas Paredes. Do you know that place?!? OMG! I once bought three track suits there for 19$! US! The lines are hellish but when you leave and can still get a street dog in the parking lot from a twenty....I'm just saying.

WTF Endora!?! Are you repubs trying to spend all the cash before you go back to your day jobs? If so, please, call me. I need new draws. Mine are tired and sorta dingy. I need a sack of weed. I been telling everybody I quit burning trees. Fuck dat. I'm too broke call my guy. Can I get a Hamilton bee-yotch?

I personally don't care how much women spend on their clothes. I'M A FAG! We live for designer gowns and dead endangered species fashion made into ugly bags. If I had the money, everything I owned would be made out of Pashmina and Crocodile. Made in Italy would be my middle name. I got no issues at all with spending huge amounts on clothes.

None.

I love all the Dragon Ladies of the 80's. Michelle Duvalier. Imelda (that's how bad that bitch is, one name). Robin Givens. Nancy Fucking Reagan! I Love them all. I was pissed when the press jumped all over Nancy about those designer dresses. What was she supposed to wear all over the world? Lees?

(MAJOR SIDE NOTE: I'M TYPING SO I CAN'T CHANGE THE CHANNEL. KEITH OLBERMAN MAKES MY FUCKING NUTS TWITCH AND BURN. SHUT UP YOU POMPOUS SELF IMPORTANT OVER ACTING WORM SMEGMA OF A MAN!)

Back to Endora.

Girl, if you're going to talk about how normal and everyday you are (personally, I think you're common which is a whole different thing) then you probably shouldn't be seen up at the Niemans.

I'm just saying.
Trust.

2 comments:

pablo said...

bitch said 'COMMON' - yes, COMMON. that's why we've been friends through all his careers (even sharing careers a few times). remember beverly peele?

dwashington314@gmail.com said...

Beverly Peele got busted years later for shoplifting!

I live you!

AHHHHHHHH!!!!!