Wednesday, October 29, 2008

MOST HOPEFUL FAITH IN OUR DEAR LEADER


Socialism refers to a broad set of economic theories of social organization advocating state or collective ownership and administration of the means of production and distribution of goods, and the creation of an egalitarian society[1][2] Modern socialism originated in the late nineteenth-century working class political movement. Karl Marx posited that socialism would be achieved via class struggle and a proletarian revolution which represents the transitional stage between capitalism and communism.

SOCIALIST HEROES:
Fidel Castro
Hugo Chavez
Vladimir Lenin
George Bush

Oh yes. George Bush.

In the past few weeks the U.S. government has basically nationalized the nations banking industry. This was done by granting billions of billions in dollars of state money to the very same greedy oligarchs who initially ran the businesses into the ground causing the loss of billions and billions of dollars.

Those are your billions and billions of dollars.

And you didn't even know you had that kind of cash laying around.

Check your cushions.

Now, before the presidential election, the administration of Comrade Bush is seriously mulling the possibility of "loaning" GM ten billion dollars in addition to the twenty five billion dollars the auto industry has already been given.

Why?

Research and development? Extended job benefits and retraining for laid off workers? Cocktail weenies for paraplegic midgets?

Oh no.

Really.

Gm wants to buy Chrysler from a private investment firm.

I swear.

Chrysler has the worse sales in the U.S. car industry. They can't give away their crap. Why would Gm want to buy it?

Hmm.

It seems that Chrysler has eleven billion dollars in cash in the (nationalized) bank.

So, if GM gets ten billion of your dollars they will then get eleven billion dollars from the private company that owns Chrysler.

Now, you don't have to worry because you, through the wonders of socialism, own a stake in Gm / Chrysler. A big stake. In fact, you own it.

Really.

Oh, did I mention that Gm and Chryslers' entire line up of vehicles overlap each other? Malibu / Sebring, Viper / Corvette, Ram / whatever the fuck the GM monster is called.

This could go on. And on.

Hmm.

What would your newly socialized company do under such circumstances? Have the workers make shoes or bread to sate the hunger and needs of the glorious workers? Harvest three hundred million metric tons of golden grain to ensure that the socialist paradise lives on for a thousand years?

Yeah, that could happen.

Actually what will happen is pretty simple.

The rising sun of glorious working class paradise (collective 301) will begin the "reduction" in worker contentment hours.

Immediately.

Oh yeah baby, layoffs. Layoffs like they used to do in 23 skidoo. And guess what? You will pay billions and billions of dollars to support those free workers through unemployment and food stamps.

That's only fair because the glorious leaders will have to take that eleven billion dollars to put towards the needs of the new working class heroes. Yacht builders, cigar factories and Ukrainian prostitutes.

But Barack Obama is an enemy of the state. A socialist.

He wants to reset the tax structure back to when Big Willy Clinton was in power. You know, when we had a surplus.

Of billions and billions of dollars.

"Arbeit macht frei" Work is freedom.

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