MY BIG FAT ASS HIGH CALORIC ADVENTURE

THE BIGGEST BUMMER ABOUT LIVING IN VEGAS IS THAT THERE AREN'T ANY CHEAP, GOOD PLACES TO EAT.

AND BUFFETS DON'T EVEN COUNT!

SO I WENT TO L.A.! TO EAT!

OH YEAH, I'M NOT COMPLETELY SHALLOW.

I ALSO DRANK. BUT THAT'S THE NEXT BLOG POST. REALLY.

BABYBOIS, I STARTED IN HIGHLAND PARK WHERE I FUCKED UP SOME FISH TACOS AT LA ESTRELLA! THEN I GOT A BAG OF FRUTAS MIXTAS FROM A RECENT ARRIVAL TO OUR COUNTRY.

I GOT BACK ON THE GOLD LINE (YES, REAL CITIES HAVE PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION) AND WENT TO CHINATOWN.

NOW, I KNOW YOU MUST BE ASKING YOURSELF, "DIDN'T FATASS JUST SAY HE JUST ATE"? WHY YES VIRGINIA, I DID. BUT, WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM MY FRIEND MR. FOUR DOS O I WAS MUNCHED OUT BY THE TIME I HIT C-TOWN. I PROCEEDED TO PORK BAO MYSELF INTO A STUPOR THEN FOLLOWED IT UP WITH LUCKY DELI WHERE A WHOLE MEAL IS THREE DOLLARS. US.

SO, I WALKED OVER TO LITTLE TOKYO WITH MY FOUR DOS O FRIEND TO KEEP ME COMPANY AND AFTER HITTING A COUPLE OF MUSEUMS (WHICH REAL CITIES DON'T CONNECT TO CASINOS.

I'M NOT VEGAS HATING.

I'M JUST SAYING.

AND THEN I FOUND A PLACE THAT SELLS OCTOPUS ON A STICK!

UMM!

YOU KNOW, IF YOU FRY IT, MY PEOPLE WILL EAT ANYTHING.

AFTER SOME MOCHI (JAPANESE ICE CREAM BUNS) I FELT I SHOULD GET BACK TO SOUTH PASADENA WHERE EVEN BLACK IS WHITE.

ON MY WAY I WENT FOR ONE OF MY FAVORITE DISHES AT MY FAVORITE TRANNIES WITH KNIVES IN THEIR WIGS BAR, JALISCO.

AT JALISCO MY FAVORITE HE/SHE BARTENDER MADE ME A HEALTHY MEAL OF TECATE, LIMON, SAL Y CLAMATO. I FINISHED THIS OFF WITH A DELICIOUS ORDER OF PORK RINDS WHICH CAME IN A DUSTY BAG AND WERE PERFECTLY STALE.

YES.

HEAVEN.