I'LL HAVE THE #7 WITH WHITE ROSES

Let's face it, the big issue about keeping the Homos away from the whole marriage thingy is simple.

Gays will ruin the "sanctity of marriage". Therefore and verily, "traditional marriage" must be "protected".

Yup.

Really.

I swear.

Well, last nite while roaming the calles near my criblet I saw, just possibly, what all those who are against gay marriage are trying to protect.

Oh boy, did I ever.

Sitting in the local drive thru was a white "Slade". (That's ghetto for a big ass Cadillac) The female driver looked like she had just left the club and needed to get her grub on. She leaned drunkenly out to read the menu which lit up her face in a most unflattering glow.

Ok, stop. Are there no fags at "Drive Thru Menus Are Us"? Could a bitch get some soft amber backlighting up in here? It's already 3am, do I really need to look like I'm dating Chris Brown (I said it)?

But.

I digress.

So, Marisela is leaning out trying to decide if she wants a #3 or #7. She looks back towards her (I assume) fucked up passenger as if to ask him if he wanted to supersize that shit or what. She leans back out and speaks,"Ok, um. Yeah. Um. I..Uh...WE.. Yeah, WE are going to go with the #2. Yeah, no, not with Elvis. No. Uh...WAIT! I AM NOT HAVING ELVIS MARRY ME! NO! What?... Hold on..His dumbass is making up his mind. Ok, yeah, WE'RE ready. Yeah we got the thing from the marriage bureau. Ok, let's just do it!"


Oh yeah, Miss Thang was getting married at the local drive thru wedding chapel.

REALLY.

I SWEAR.

Now.

One more time.

Explain again about why "the sanctity of marriage needs to be protected"?

From WHO exactly?

What is this "sanctity" you speak of?

This Bitch is ordering up "traditional marriage" at a fucking drive thru! But if I want to go out and scope the next ex Mr. Derek Washington I can't?

Huh?

If I were straight (not even a little chance of that ever happening) I would be able to be a contestant on "The Bachelor" or maybe I aimed higher (if I was straight you can bet I would) and go on "Who Wants To Marry A Millionaire" and once I was happily (?) ensconced, possibly with some home schooled nerds, I could "Wife Swap" that bitch right out for a week.

I repeat.

Huh?

Listen, if two lesbians in Vermont named Bob and Phil want to get married after enduring each other for 20 years and 3 Suburu Forresters, how EXACTLY is it that they are violating anything?

Well, other than fashion sense and possibly laws pertaining to the number of cats one can have on a property.

How is it that Chad and Brad from Weho are REALLY doing anything that is not "traditional" by getting married after 16 years of circuit parties and AIDS Walks?

I guess my point is this.

That "traditional" marriage boat left the docks a LONG time ago.

And the straights are the ones sailing it.