Thursday, March 26, 2009

"IN THE LV" LIMITED AD RATE OFFER 1 WEEK ONLY!


IN THE LV SPECIAL INTRODUCTORY RATES

In The LV is the exciting new addition to the radio and webscene focusing on Life and Love in Las Vegas.

Broadcasting live on Klav 1230 am and simulcast at www.klav1230am.com IN THE LV will bring you the latest news about politics, entertainment, relationships and life IN THE LV. Wednesdays, beginning 01 April 2009 Las Vegas will finally have "appointment radio" from 9-11pm every week.

IN THE LV will be a 2 hour block of programming co-hosted by Derek Washington ("Life In The LV") and "Engayging Introductions" Chris Miller ("Love In The LV"). Derek will have no holds talks with local and national figures about politics and our ever changing society along with a tour of his own "secret" Vegas with it's hidden treasures and fun places that only the most in the know locals can tell you about. Chris will give Las Vegas it's first relationship show focusing on LGBT issues that most shows won't go near. From questions about what not to do on a first date to how to make sure that you and your partner are making the correct choices for your financial future, "Love In The LV" will be a frank, yet, fun look at modern relationships.

In addition, IN THE LV will also have dedicated blocks of Health and Fitness and Entertainment blocks available for sponsorship (contact us for special rates).

Being a new program, we would like to offer you an amazing chance at getting in on the ground floor of what will be a very successful show. Keep in mind that we will be using all of the modern tools to promote this block of programming. Along with the internet simulcast we will be live Twittering, Face Booking, Myspace, Blogging,Skyping, probably some "ings" that you haven't even heard of yet! All of these tools will make this show, not only local, but international in reach. With Las Vegas being one of the few "world" cities, we at IN THE LV feel that we must reach out around the globe to make sure that visitors planning a trip to The LV already have a friend when they hit the ground at McCarren.

Enough with the hype, let's get to the dollars! For our first month the following rates will apply:


IN THE LV

Special Introductory Ad Rates April 1,8,15,22

Time Price Run

30 sec spot $50 For all 4 weeks!

60 sec spot $100 For all 4 weeks!

We would like to provide an introductory special. For the first 4 weeks,
April 1,8,15 and 22, we are offering an opportunity you cannot refuse.
For each 30 sec spot you purchase, your cost is $50.

How can you pass up 4 weeks of radio and internet advertising on Las Vegas' hottest new
show for only $50 - $100?

Sincerely

Chris Miller 702.569.6744 cell / 702 896 2170 office
Derek Washington 702.388.2881

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

ECONOMIC CRISIS? WE'VE SEEN IT BEFORE.


Ok, here I go.

I have NEVER heard of anyone wanting to live "The Japanese Dream". Or that China is the "land of opportunity". Or that Russia is "where freedom rings".

As long as the good ole USA is all of the above we will be okay. Does anyone remember when the Japanese were going to "own" us? Their superior intellect and strategic planning would have us serving up McSushi to our Nipponese overlords.

Along came a little thing called porn, uh, I mean the internet. We ruled the world yet again with our innovation and ability to make money out of our innate American spirit of "can do it-ness". Not too long ago Russia was going to show us a thing or two. How's that Moscow Tower thing going now? Dubai? Can you say sagebrush? Then it was the "Chinese and/or Indian Century". Quelle bore that. Billions of pissed off serfs realizing that the newly monied just wanted them off their rice paddies and onto the factory floor (or if you were a gullible woman, the slave whorehouse.). Real new age.

Simple fact. We are going through a crap period, but, remember what happened to Tojo, Hitler and Mussolini when they decided that we were just a bunch of lazy fat asses. We have a new President who has actually inspired millions to be involved in their country and just like Roosevelt, he will help us through it. If you don't like him I will just tell you what I heard for the last eight years, "get over it, he won!"

America, love it or help fix it.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

AMERICAN IDOL MAKES YOU GAY!


I hate American Idol.

A bunch of boring twentysomethings and tweeners sing a bunch of saccharine ballads and I'm supposed to take time away from my Twittering to vote for one of them?

Uh, no.

AND THEN these schmoes are put through the stylist torture chamber! The guys all look like the Emo offspring of Pete Wentz and Nick Lachey. Supercuts do's and "edgy" printed shirts make them all come off as a bunch of douches from Toledo trying to get into XS on a Saturday night.

And the poor girls.

It's like somebody gave them a 50$ gift certificate to the Forever 21 outlet store and said "be back at the bus by twelve."

Really.

I swear.

And don't get me started on the "judges".

Too late.

I already am.

Who the fuck is that new bitch? If they brought her in to threaten Paula, all they did was make that crazy broad look better. Was Dionne Warwicke unavailable? They couldn't pony up for Sheena Easton? No one had a crack connection to entice Amy Winehouse (call me)? Hell, they couldn't have got my mom to cell it in from her Town Car?

Randy Jackson has one more season of "yo Dog" before I join my local Kaballah center to ease the pain. You know what's funny about him? Ok, you just KNOW that man can't get laid even with all his money. Even hookers must think, "is it REALLY worth the fifty?"

Simon I actually like. He can barely hide his disgust for that creepy Seacrest chick and he calls out so many of the "singers" who are just faking it. Though his man titties should be either restrained or at least put into a shirt that doesn't accent them.

Paula. Listen, anyone with her collection of cheesy 90's hits and her obvious good connection at the local Rite-Aid is A-Okay with me. I love it when she gives you that look that you just know is going to end up on YouTube by midnight. It's that "are you my mommy" glazed over Robotussin and 7-Up cocktail look that makes the whole show endurable.

Well, now there's actually a reason to watch American Idol.

It makes you gay!

Yep.

Gay.

I say.

No way!

Yes way!

Gay.

I say.

How fey.

No. Gay.

Read the following. I quote it because even with my "I survived" Edgewood High School Bitchulary, I can't possibly do this one justice.

Wait. This is good. Grab a cocktail. Hit the bong. Turn off the CSI:Hemet. Whatever. Ok. Get ready.

Here it goes. OMG, I'm like Keith Olberman listening to his own voice right now!

"I should know in advance if one of their singers is queer," said Pastor Jim Palmer of the New Family Institute. "I need to warn my community to shield their eyes or turn off their TV's so they don't fall under some kind of a gay spell. One of my parishioners is now gay and he's blaming it on 'Idol.'"


Wait.

Again.

"I should know in advance if one of their singers is queer," said Pastor Jim Palmer of the New Family Institute. "I need to warn my community to shield their eyes or turn off their TV's so they don't fall under some kind of a gay spell. One of my parishioners is now gay and he's blaming it on 'Idol.'"

YES!

Is that not the best quote of the year or what!?!

There's a dick in your mouth?

Idol.

Some guy cruising your Hershey Highway?

Idol.

Bumping beavers in Washoe County?

Idol.

14 cats and a Suburu in your driveway?

Yeah, you've been watching Idol.

Well, I'm just glad to know why so many badly dressed arrhytmic Tools and Pink wannabees have been showing up at Krave lately.

They all must watch American Idol.

Finally, I can sleep.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

I'LL HAVE THE #7 WITH WHITE ROSES


Let's face it, the big issue about keeping the Homos away from the whole marriage thingy is simple.

Gays will ruin the "sanctity of marriage". Therefore and verily, "traditional marriage" must be "protected".

Yup.

Really.

I swear.

Well, last nite while roaming the calles near my criblet I saw, just possibly, what all those who are against gay marriage are trying to protect.

Oh boy, did I ever.

Sitting in the local drive thru was a white "Slade". (That's ghetto for a big ass Cadillac) The female driver looked like she had just left the club and needed to get her grub on. She leaned drunkenly out to read the menu which lit up her face in a most unflattering glow.

Ok, stop. Are there no fags at "Drive Thru Menus Are Us"? Could a bitch get some soft amber backlighting up in here? It's already 3am, do I really need to look like I'm dating Chris Brown (I said it)?

But.

I digress.

So, Marisela is leaning out trying to decide if she wants a #3 or #7. She looks back towards her (I assume) fucked up passenger as if to ask him if he wanted to supersize that shit or what. She leans back out and speaks,"Ok, um. Yeah. Um. I..Uh...WE.. Yeah, WE are going to go with the #2. Yeah, no, not with Elvis. No. Uh...WAIT! I AM NOT HAVING ELVIS MARRY ME! NO! What?... Hold on..His dumbass is making up his mind. Ok, yeah, WE'RE ready. Yeah we got the thing from the marriage bureau. Ok, let's just do it!"


Oh yeah, Miss Thang was getting married at the local drive thru wedding chapel.

REALLY.

I SWEAR.

Now.

One more time.

Explain again about why "the sanctity of marriage needs to be protected"?

From WHO exactly?

What is this "sanctity" you speak of?

This Bitch is ordering up "traditional marriage" at a fucking drive thru! But if I want to go out and scope the next ex Mr. Derek Washington I can't?

Huh?

If I were straight (not even a little chance of that ever happening) I would be able to be a contestant on "The Bachelor" or maybe I aimed higher (if I was straight you can bet I would) and go on "Who Wants To Marry A Millionaire" and once I was happily (?) ensconced, possibly with some home schooled nerds, I could "Wife Swap" that bitch right out for a week.

I repeat.

Huh?

Listen, if two lesbians in Vermont named Bob and Phil want to get married after enduring each other for 20 years and 3 Suburu Forresters, how EXACTLY is it that they are violating anything?

Well, other than fashion sense and possibly laws pertaining to the number of cats one can have on a property.

How is it that Chad and Brad from Weho are REALLY doing anything that is not "traditional" by getting married after 16 years of circuit parties and AIDS Walks?

I guess my point is this.

That "traditional" marriage boat left the docks a LONG time ago.

And the straights are the ones sailing it.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

RIHANNA: WE KNOW THE WHOLE STORY!


REPRINTED FROM I LOVE LAS VEGAS MAGAZINE BLOG

Let's get something straight right now.

It is NEVER okay for a man to hit a woman! It is criminal and almost as importantly, it is the sign of a coward.

We have all read the news about singer Rihanna being viciously beaten by her boyfriend, former star Chris Brown. The attack was brutal and no matter what transpired prior to the beating, uncalled for. We here have sat by and watched celebrity after celebrity say "we don't know the whole story...". What exactly could be "the whole story" that caused this coward to punch, bite and threaten to kill Rihanna? What kind of man bites a woman who is strapped into her car seat? Waiting. That's what we thought.

We have made it a point to avoid controversial issues here because we want to be the place you go to find out the latest news and info about our favorite place, The LV. There's enough doom and gloom in the world and you can read all of it somewhere else. However, my personal experience with domestic violence in my own family combined with my "Boss Lady" Carole McCabe-Joy's escape from an abusive husband many years ago brought us to the point where we could no longer sit on the sidelines. If we sat on the sidelines we would be no better than those celebrities who say "we don't know the whole story".

We know the whole story. Domestic violence is the whole story. It's the beginning. It's the end.

I have a 6 year old niece who loves Rihanna. I can't let her think that getting a beat down from her boyfriend or any man is okay. It took Carole McCabe-Joy years to erase the memories of being abused. If we as a society don't stand up and scream ENOUGH then we as a society have failed my niece and all of the women who have been victims of cowardly men who use their fists instead of their heads.

Following is a list of places to help victims of domestic violence. PLEASE help these places help others. If you are a victim yourself, please, call one of these places or, more importantly, the police, and get help NOW!

The Vegas Style Guy

NATIONAL COALITION AGAINST DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
http://www.ncadv.org/

NATIONAL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE
http://www.ndvh.org/

SHADE TREE SHELTER
http://www.theshadetree.org/

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

THEY'RE BAAAACK! THE IDIOTS AT EQUALITY CALIFORNIA DO IT AGAIN!



I like white bread.

Really.

I swear.

I like it with Mayo.

I like it with butter.

I like it with Coke.

That's a brand name. Not a "Producto de Colombia".

Whenever a guy says, "wait! Let me get THE towel", I start wondering if it's Monday.

"Hmm, If I finish this quick I can get home in time for The Big Bang Theory. If I really get him excited we might fall off of "THE towel" and then I'll get the hell out of here in time to catch the last ten of Two and Half Men.

Either way, "wait!. Let me get THE towel" means that we, no I am about to have the sexual equivalent of white bread. HE, on the other hand is about to have "oh my God, that was so hot, can you shower at home, I forgot to mention I have a room mate/Boyfriend/ appointment and I have to get going right away", sex.

I like white bread.

I HATE towel sex.

Towel sex means that the bottom (they're always bottoms) has decided exactly everything that is going to happen during the "act" of sex.

The "act".

There will be none of that start here, go there, wait, is that yet another flat surface I can throw you on top of to express my carnal desires, sweaty, I don't even care about your breath, sex.

Nope.

None of that.

Well, the idiots who brought you "No on 8" have thrown down the towel.

Yet again.

Really.

I swear.

After squandering something like 45 million donated dollars on their epicly losing joke of a campaign to defeat Prop 8 in Cali, these Latte sipping, "Chad will pick up Kathy Griffin for the fundraiser", never been east of La Brea, Beemer driving lameazoids have released the feel good hit of the year commercial.

What's this commercial for?

You ask.

So do I.

This thing actually starts with concentration camp victims and somehow swirls into a tasteful melange of Harvey Milk, Matthew Shepard, Lesbians getting married and, oh God my eyes started to bleed, I can't tell you what else.

And it's narrated by a generic could be Morgan Freeman or some other old respected non-threatening black guy.

"See, we included Black people!"

Oy.

Vey.

Ok. Let me lay it out.

1/ Fire these fucks. They are the Homo equivalent to Jesse Jackson. "Yes, thank you Mr. Jackson. Lovely work. Yes. Lovely. Can you (and your bastard child) please step aside for Mr. Obama? Yes Jesse, That One." Get out! Who hired these "leaders" anyway?

2/ IT'S THE ECONOMY STUPID! In the age of That One we often forget our first Black President and how he got there. The country was in an economic crisis (funny how that always happens after a few years of Republican rule. Yes. Funny.)and Big Willy came along and focused on the economy. In hard times that's all anybody gives a flippedty foo about.

The brokeass State of Cali is so in the Red Vivienne Westwood has named her spring/summer 2009 collection after it ("today, Vivienne Westwood showed her latest, California Redux, to a packed tent of emaciated fashion editors who are now thin because they're magazines are no longer paying for Salade Nicoise at Barney Greengrass. The collection was a punk flashback, 'torn and tattered to reflect the states economy', according to Westwood" This is Elsa For Style. No. I'm not dead. I don't think. Google me.).

Make Gay Marriage about the economy. A fag will scrape together his last ducats to get to the church on time. Well, fashionably late. That cash will go into a wedding that will make Edina Monsoon take to her bed with publicist penis envy. That cash will also trickle down to the Preacher, florist, local tux shop, Mexican who drives the truck that delivered the rented chairs for the reception (oh the reception!), Black (hot) Fed Ex driver who delivered the Jeffrey Sanker VIP passes to the White Party Honeymoon on Atlantis Cruises leaving from San Diego where the happy couple paid to leave the SUV in the parking lot.....

Do you see where I'm going?

No?

IT'S THE ECONOMY STUPID!

No, the Equality California Gay oppression pimps make the "feel really bad for us" commercial of the year.

I like white bread.

I hate towel sex.

Equality California.

DVR and fast forward right through them.


HERE'S THE SUCKASS COMMERCIAL:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lKW2RYNG9Cw

YOU TUBE IT.

Keep your towel handy.