Tuesday, January 13, 2009


I hate MSNBC.

I'm not the blackest of the black people.

Hang on, there's a point.


I swear.

Honestly, I truly love my people, I love collards and chitlins'.

White people, please don't ask us to taste our chitlins'. You won't like them and we'll be pissed that you messed over our food.

Besides, just cause you at Roscoe's House of Chicken and Waffles, it don't mean you get to go all Sandra Berhard.

Btw, exactly who told that bitch she was Black? Just cause we let you in the club and didn't beat yo ass in the bathroom doesn't mean we like you all that much.


When it comes to personal Blackness, I'm closer to Bobby Brady than Bobby Brown.

Ever look at Bobby Brown and think, "I'd do him. Once."? You know you have.

Step 10 is admitting it.


Well. I hate MSNBC.

Here comes the point.


I swear.

Both that dickhead Keith Olberman and Chris "I touch myself when Barry speaks" Mathews get on my very last liberal nerve.

They both have this bizarre liberal version of Limbaughian rage at, well, everything.

Or at least women.

They tore Hillary a new one everyday during the primaries. If she won, it wasn't by enough. If she lost by 1/2 point she lost in a landslide a state she should have won. That one got a papercut and she should get OUT of the race.

That dick Keith-O was a blithering blather of spittle whenever Hillary took a minute off from sodomizing puppies to run for President.

And Chris Mathews.

Shooting fish in a barrel is never any fun.

Sarah Palin!

Speaking of shooting fish in a barrel.

They took her apart like a Lego village the week after Christmas.

Oh wait, let's piss off some "Christians", ...Like a Lego village after XMas. Ooh, that left quite a pleasant feel.

Somehow I got stuck watching that guy Rachel Maddow and the Diabolic Duo come on like a prison gang bang right after that.

One after the other.

After the other.

Well. Along comes the whitest black man I done ever seen.

Ron Christie is the type of Negro who would have been happy in the kitchen of any large house in a certain part of the country. In a certain period of time.

Of this I am certain.

He's a former advisor to the guy who's leaving soon.

What the living hell in all that is precious did he advise that murderous blank check?

"Massa George sir? May I advise you to wear a hat? It's powerful windy and cold out dere."

D.L. Hughley will play him in the BET biopic.

When I finally pushed my mouth closed from listening to this guy answer every single question with "9/11" , my jaw was on the floor. He actually said "yeah, good try, you can't name a single lie that George Bush has told!" AND he said it in this "neener neener neener" taunting sort of way. Imagine that Black cop from Beverly Hills Cop who got the banana put in his tailpipe.

And he was REALLY mad!


In all of my years of being black, I have been in some sticky wickets. I have been car less. Damn near homeless. Strung the fuck out. Smelly. Missing rotted teeth. Hungry.

Ok, hungry, I didn't mind so much.

I was wearing a 30 waist.

Big girls SO understand that one.

In all my travels and travails I aint NEVER sold myself out.



I swear.

And if I EVER think about selling out or, perhaps more importantly, defend the indefensible, I will throw myself off of a bridge. Or candles across a room (inside joke. You don't get it. Do you?). I will NEVER compromise or sell out my self respect and/or what's left of my morals to get ahead in life.


Look at this Christie fellow. Google him. I did.

"He's a traitor! A joke!" And those were the nice points people made about him.

Why this long post about some Negro who sold out himself to be a house Negro and get on tv as a pundit?

To teach us all a lesson I hope we all learn.

Be it a boss. A Lover. An overseer. A roommate. Whatever.

Never sell out.


Cause when you sell out you get what you were paid for.

And it's never enough.

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