Tuesday, May 19, 2009
WIT HAS RETURNED TO TV! OR, EVERYTHING I EVER NEED TO KNOW I LEARNED AT EDGEWOOD HIGH SCHOOL IN WEST COVINA, USA
I attended a high school in a sleepy little Peyton Place of a town, West Covina, California.
As "bedroom suburbs" go, West Covina was pretty average. Located 19 miles and 20 years East of downtown Los Angeles, it was the type of place where good girls didn't but bad girls were everywhere. Camaros were the dream, but, Pintos were the reality. It was the American Dream.
As long as you didn't dream too big.
I dreamt big.
So did my motley crue.
Our little crew of delinquent wannabes weren't bad, well, we weren't evil. We were good bad but not evil. Leaders of our pack. We didn't suit up in leathers and ride motorcycles. We wore Hang Ten and piled into "The Wagon", a babyshit yellow with fake vinyl wood on the sides 1972 AMC Ambassador Wagon. My wagon. Or, if Mike Mcelroy (our local rich boy Jr. Lothario) wasn't dating some Nazarenian hussy we got to pile into his latest new sport coupe. If the stars were lined up perfectly we got to go cruising in Linda Dietrich's 50ft Winnebago which she drove as if it was a Porsche and we were in the 22nd hour of the 24 hours of Daytona.
But I digress.
I'm now, and have always been, a person of limited talents.
I do, however, have one talent that I will hold up against anyone.
I can socialize like a Gabor mating with a Hilton on a souffle of Kardashian steroids.
At dear old Edgewood High School aka My Alma Mater you were either a jock, cheerleader, ASB (associated student body), or a Soc (pronounced "sewsh").
Of course, you could also be in Band, but, really? I'm sure there were Band Geeks.
Yes. I'm sure.
Now, those of us without great talents developed their skills.
Cheerleading? Not at EHS. That was way too fruity.
ASB? Duh, of course. It was the one place where all levels of society met. And it was all about popularity. Whether you liked me or not I was popular.
Popularity is often judged by how well you are liked. That's some delusional version of the word. Popularity is actually about fear.
I was popular.
I wasn't liked. Well, as long as you were my friend you liked me. After you weren't my friend if you were smart you still understood that I was popular. And therefore you liked me.
Now, did I mention that there was one more place, or shall I say, way, to be popular?
Strangely enough at Mean Girls High, uh, I mean Edgewood, you could also build a power base, uh, make friends, in the Drama and Choir Departments.
Tonite a show premiered called , "GLEE".
It is my life in high school.
As I have to go off for a round of cocktails with my new "grown up" friends you'll have to wait for my review of this FOX TV ode to me till morrow.
Trust me, you'll be glad you waited. In the meantime, go to www.fox.com and watch the premiere episode of GLEE as it will be the beginning of a long relationship, not just with the show, but, with all the Sandys, Jamies, Jimmys, Mikes, Craigs and all the rest of the backbiting, yet, loveable bored suburban youth of a little town 19 miles and 20 years east of downtown Los Angeles, WEST COVINA, USA.