Saturday, November 13, 2010

ALAN & ZOE or JOHN & YOKO? You be the judge.

After a few days of the latest activist “Hunger Strike”, I asked why I hadn’t heard any new news on the fast for , uh, I really don’t know why by Alan Bouneville. Evidently, while I was away from my computer for a few minutes, a whole video extravaganza had been produced.

And I doubted our Alan hadn't turned this into "A Very Special Episode of Blossom".

As if.

So, I clicked on over and imagine my shock.


Speaking of “Imagine”.

We are. Now.

I am a huge music fan. If we are Facebook friends you already know that my love of music can easily take you from The Cramps to Dolly Parton's Disco ( Baby I'm Burning! You got me on fire!) period in seven Youtube stops.

One of my all time fave groups (outside of any group of three Black women with Boo-Fants and high heel sneakers.) is The Beatles.


You really can’t talk about The Beatles without mentioning everyone else’s fave, John Lennon. I say “everyone else’s” fave Beatle because I’m a Ringo type of guy.


As I sat there watching a video of the now very weak Alan Bouneville I had the strangest feeling I had already experienced this little mise en scene.

Are you experienced?

I am.

Next to Alan was a dark haired beauty who identified herself as Iana Di Bona. Strange. I’ve seen this place before.

That’s when it hit me like a bong cloud of righteous Kush! I was looking at a modern day John & Yoko “Give Peace a Chance” redux!

Sacre Blooey!

I had to give them credit for re-imagining every 55 year old ex hippies acid dream protest! Brava! Oh. Wait. Isn’t Alan like about 12? The dark haired beauty, maybe 15? How on earth did they think to grab this hippie protest flashback all on their lonesome?


I said, hmmmm.

That’s when I began to look into the recent spate of LGBT hunger strikes (I won’t even get into the bit about people sending their kids to school just so they can eat.). I found a (rather) common thread.


It seems the doyenne of hunger strikes 2010 is a former radical SCUM manifesto (Google it! Do I have to do everything around here!?) type who goes by the name of Zoe Nicholson. It seems that life with Zoe often consists of enabling young activists to conduct hunger strikes, which are perfectly ok as she is an “expert” on such things.

You see kiddies, a long, long time ago, our Zoe was one of the gazillions of long haired, hippie freaks who burned their bras and waved their flags high!

All without eating.

Something tells this chubby birdie that our Zoe knew exactly what the effect of Alan and the dark haired beauty would be with the two of them sitting and protesting from a bed. Shades of John and Yoko and their uber famous “Sleep In"? Of course, John & Yoko had the good sense to invite cameras AND order Champers and Rock Lobster.

You know. Food.

I can’t prove it, however, methinks that maybe someone is getting a woody watching her recent charges behaving like wooden boys and girls while she pulls the strings and say, “Right here! Right here in my book! No, the first one, not the second one! You are SUPPOSED to be seeing double! You SHOULDN’T be able to speak above a whisper! See! Right here in chapter 62! You’re not dying! You’re finding your inner beauty!”

Or. Some. Such. Bother.

Listen, Zoe. Sweetie Dahling. Why don’t you stop luring young activists into reliving your glory days and give that boy a McRib STAT! I am old enough to get exactly what’s going on. You are using your past as a radical and allowing people to think that a guy like Alan is actually making a difference by killing himself. More importantly, in addition to killing Alan, you are helping to kill the spirit of TRUE ACTIVISM. By that I mean Ghandi (who had a real point in fasting.) and the Buddhist Monks who burned to a crisp on the streets of Saigon to protest the Vietnam War. Hell, even Patty Hearst had more cojones than you by holding the gun and having her picture taken as Tania to lay claim to her crimes. It’s time for you to stop enabling self destructive behavior and come out of the Kervorkianesque shadows.

If hunger strikes are the way to go, YOU STOP EATING.

I’ll be waiting for the video.

May I suggest something I haven’t already seen?

ALAN & ZOE or JOHN & YOKO? You be the judge.



The winner gets a McRib!

1 comment:

NG said...

What I'm finding ironic is here we all are dealing with the suicide pandemic and using all our available mediums to encourage and or plead with parents to be more vigilant and accepting of their gay kids.

Now we have Bounville's family expressing concerns about Alan's mental and physical well being and not only are Zoe Nicholson and Choi playing their stupid games, we've got people making a mockery of the situation.

It's unfuckingbelievable what is taking place.

The sad part is I'm not sure what to do personally about the situation.

One reason is because I live in another borough and here where I live there's no such thing as hopping on the subway and doing what needs to be done without it being a hassle or incovenience.

Two, I've no desire to compromise myself at the expense of overzealous activists or politicians.

Three, some of these Kirstenites, some of whom you socialized with during Netroots Nation, are a bunch of assholes, and their ego is interfering with their ability to do the right thing, put aside their ignorance and arrogance and self loathing hypocrisy for a minute and see about helping us in resolving this situation to everyone's satisfaction.

So if you can get those morons on board and help with the know where to find me.