STOP THE REVOLUTION, I WANNA GET ON!

A year ago if you had asked me where I would be at this very moment I would have looked at you and said, "Huh?"

I've spent the last five days with over 40 LGBT activists from around the country on a mountaintop in someplace called Tennessee.

Hint: Limit your time with activists to four days.

I'm jes sayin'.

It's like not swimming for a couple of hours after eating. It's just safer for everyone.

We have spent the past few days talking.

I've actually learned a new rather strange language called "P.C".
It seems you actually have to care about another persons' feelings when you speak.

Sorry.

I was laughing.

Heartily.

But.

I digress.

You also must make sure that you use the correct verbiage when describing "Bitches" and "Whores".

"Bitches" evidently don't exist outside of kennels.

Tell that to Joan Collins who has built a career away from the kennel.

"Whores" are "Sex Workers".

No.

Really.

I swear.

Examples:

Wrong way
"I told that whore to get over here with my gas money, now!" Said the Congressman.

Correct way:
"I respectfully request that you, non gender specific, Sex Worker join me at my side with sufficient funds to fill the gas tank on my Escalade", said the Congressman.

Get it?

Of course you do.

Where was I?

Oh.

Yeah.

I've been to the mountaintop.

I have been surrounded with some of the most brilliant people I have ever had the pleasure of spending time with.

On a mountaintop.

We have had workshops on how to organize and strategize and pyschedelicize our movement to attain full equally as citizens of the United States.

We have talked (Lord knows) ourselves until we are Blue in the face (which is not an attractive color on me at this time of the year. I look like Latoya Jackson ordering a Jumbo Jack at a drive thru at 3:00 am. But. I digress.). We have fought like brothers and sisters. We have learned so much about each other that I could write a book on everyone here.

Hmmm.

I also have learned that on occasion, rare, but, on, I might be a teensy bit difficult to deal with.

Imagine.

I know.

You can't.

Oh!

Wait!

Last night we got word that our little camp of linguists was being touted on the Blogs as a "Rich Gays cigar and Champagne Secret Meeting!"

I'm pissed.

Not because they were so off base with what they said about us.

But.

Because they were so off base`with what they said about us.

I drank generic Vodka!

That I poured myself!

Zut Alors!

That's French for, "Uh, is there a VIP section up in this Bitch?"

Oops.

I said "Bitch".

Outside of a kennel.

Ouch.

Where was I?

Oh.

Yeah.

Witch Mountain.

Look nosy Bloggy peeps, I would be the first to tell you if we were reinventing the wheel up here in a place so cold my cojones went into hibernation.

We're not.

What we are doing is taking the Bull by the horns and doing something to make our world, our country, a better place for all of us.

If anyone has an issue with that because they didn't get an invite to an all expenses paid trip to a historic place (did I mention that THE ROSA PARKS used ta kick it up in here? Did I? Well. She did.) to actually do something other than moan about what hasn't been done, well, I don't know what to tell you.

Actually I do, but, that kind of language should only be used in a kennel.

An amazing woman, Robin McGehee and a really smart and somewhat hot, young man, Kip Williams, invited me to come and I am honored to have attended this amazing retreat. I got to learn from Dan Matthews of PETA (by the way, let a resident of a kennel throw blood on my ratfur coat. I'm jes sayin'.) and I got to meet the legendary Anne Northrup who has looked after me and told me to shut up in the nicest possible manner.

The others are a blend of something you NEVER see in leadership positions in the major "DONATE NOW" Gay inc organizations.

I won't name them.

You probably don't know them anyway.

You should.

You will.

But. Some descriptions.

We got us some:

Angry,beautiful,poetic and smart Black lesbians who are damn proud of all of the proceeding.

Seniors who think like 25 year olds.

Law enforcement folk.

Gentlewomen.

Gentlemen. Me.

Black Men! Yeah, tell me how often we're included in Gay Inc discussions? Can you say "Prop 8"? Of course you can't. Unless it's followed by "It was the Black Men. DONATE NOW".

White guys! No waiting, we got several, step right up!

Youth of color and those lacking in melanin. All brilliant.

And here is the kicker! We got us some Transgender folk! And we actually see them as people, not just another, "DONATE NOW", push button, make money drop out. How very modern of us.

Try it.

We've got insiders and outsiders.

Tops and bottoms.

Pajamas. That is. What were you thinking?

Perv.

Here's the kicker.

It's my last night here and the elitist camp full of Champagne and Cigars is abuzz.

Uh.

Buzz.

It seems that President Obama (the Black Guy)is maybe just maybe going to make a major announcement about the absurd "Don't ask Don't Tell" policy that throws perfectly good heroes out of the Armed Forces because they are Gay.

SIDEBAR: Aren't we in a war? You know, the Bush war? Why then are we throwing away war heroes like Lt. Dan Choi who is fluent in Arabic and is decorated?

Not like a tree. Like a Hero.

The government has spent millions of dollars training folks like Dan and then because some bigot is afraid that some dude (or `dudette) is going to look at him or her in the shower, we throw taxpayer dollars down the drain by getting rid of them when all they want to do is serve the country that they love?

Is that the magic "Fiscal Responsibility" I've heard so much about from the nattering nabobs of negativity on the right screech about, oh so very often?

Well, we don't know what will happen, but, if this stupid policy is done away with, I want to personally thank my Senator, Harry Reid, the Majority Leader of the United States Senate for leading the way.

Okay, what had happened was, I invited Lt. Dan Choi out to Moiself's sunny little burgh of Las Vegas to drum up support for The National Equality March. My good riend and sometime mentor, Gwen Migita of Harrahs corporation facilitated Dan and I getting backstage at a fancy dress ball to actually have a few private moments with Senator Reid. Upon seeing Dans' chestful of gleaming medals and ribbons, the Senator said that he wanted to get rid of the DADT policy and that the President and he were working on it. Since Harry Reid has personally promised me a couple of things and had always kept his word, (including promising to endorse the National Equality March , which he did.)I knew that soon, DADT would end.

I'm hoping tomorrow.

Tomorrow is The President's State of The Union address and our little exclusive and elitist mountaintop is abuzz because we know that without a "DONATE NOW" button, we, the grassroots, were able to push history forward just a touch. We, the real grassroots, were able to do what Americans are supposed to be able to do.

We met with one of the most powerful men in the country and he told us he supported us and to just keep up our fight and to get in the streets and march until we had our rights. He also told us he would do all that he could to help.

If DADT ends soon, I want you to remember a few things.

Without Robin McGehee and Kip Williams and Dan Choi and a woman named Laura Martin (who arranged a major meeting in D.C. with Senator Reid)and all the grassroots activists who came to Washington D.C. (thank you David Mixner!)on a gorgeous Fall day, we would be a lot further back from our goals of full equality for ALL U.S. citizens.

And.

We did it without fancy dinners and parties where people didn't wear shirts (what's up with that? Put your damn shirts back on, I'm not trying to ruin cashmere with your sweat!. I digress.)OR a huge "DONATE NOW BUT WAIT A FEW MORE YEARS FOR ANYTHING TO HAPPEN CAUSE WE HAVE NEEDS AT OUR GAY INC.HQ" button affixed to our butts.

And you know what?

We're still doing it from our mountaintop aerie with free flowing lemonade and coffee!

We're doing it at the LOCAL LGBT center near you.

We're doing it at high schools and park benches and in the middle of the night in places GAY Inc. won't go.

My point?

We , the grassroots activists are doing it.

Are you Gay Inc.?

Get up stand up! Stand up for your rights!

And remember a man named Harry Reid and when people tell you he doesn't know or care about you or your community, you tell them, yes he does.

And you tell 'em, I said so.


Photo Credit: Chris "Causing a Ruckus" Miller