SCHADENFREUDE: IT'S A BLACK THING, YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND

schadenfreude:  /ˈʃɑdnˌfrɔɪdə/ Pronunciation: [shahd-n-froi-duh]

"Satisfaction or pleasure felt at someone else's misfortune."


Let's get something straight.

Right here.

Right now.

Black people haven't liked O.J. since he beat up and left his 1st Black wife, Marguerite.

Then, he went and bought that white girl.

The reason that Black people stood by O.J. during "The Trial Of The Century", is that White men took such obvious glee in the uppity Negro getting his. They hated that he was rich, good looking and had a beautiful Blonde wife.

What is it with straight guys and Blonde's? That shit is weird.

The fact that O.J. had enough money to do what white men have always done, get away with murder, just put gravy on the grits for us. After all, everybody knows that Robert Blake killed his wife. But, where's the outrage? Furthermore, why is he not hounded to this day and used as an example of why you can't trust white people on a jury to convict one of their own?

We didn't even think O.J. was Black until white guys told us he was.

Neither did O.J.

Really.

I swear.

One more thing about that whole case. We knew O.J. killed that girl.

We just "understood".

Would you really expect , say, an Italian macho guy to be able to handle his ex wife letting her young boyfriend drive around his town in the Ferrari that he was paying for and banging his ex in the house he paid for while his kids were in the next bedroom, without losing it?

O.J.'s problem was that he was too cheap to do it in the same way that Italian guy would've handled his "bidness".

O.J.'s arrogant ass did the job himself.

Stupid.

But.

We "understood".

You do too.

Whether you admit it or not.

Now we have our little "Cablinasian" friend Tiger Woods.

Tee.

Hee.

I hate it when you ask a Black person with light skin "what are you?" and they say some bullshit like, "I'm Creole".

Bitch, the last Creoles were in 1864.

Or, when they say, "my family is part Cherokee and...".

Ok Tonto, let me explain something to you. Y'all aint been Cherokee since The Trail of Tears.

And that was one Indian Chicks' unwanted baby that somehow begat whatever begat that begat yo ass.

You are BLACK.

Ask your Blonde girlfriends' father what you are.

Ask your boyfriend Chad in West Hollywood friends what you are.

Better yet, ask them when you're not in the room what you are.

I bet it aint "Creole" or "part Cherokee and..".

I bet.

Tiger Woods seems to have been programmed from childhood to be physically incapable of saying that he is , in fact, a Negro.

It's like the only time he chokes. He has said he marks "other" or "Asian" when he fills out forms that ask for race.

When Tiger married Helga, Queen of The Aryan Higlands, we Blacks were none too pleased. Tiger didn't just marry a white girl. No, Tiger married a white, Ice Blonde Nordic, Nanny/Swim Suit Model!

SIDEBAR: I find it rather funny that Tigers' rich golfing buddy introduced his "nanny" to Tiger. I can't imagine his wife was all that pleased with her walking around the house all day hanging out of her Juicy Couture. I bet the wife was like, "...anywhere! Anybody! Just get her out of here!" WHO THE HELL HIRES AN ICE BLONDE, NORDIC, NANNY/SWIMSUIT MODEL and expects their wife to be cool with it? Is that a straight dumbass thing?

But.

I digress.

Yeah, well Tiger "Cablinasian " Woods, I wonder what that Blonde pissed off Viking Broad you married called you as she beat down your ass for being a slut of legendary proportions.

I don't know Laplandese or whatever the fuck that Nordic Valkyrie called him when she was upside his head with a nine iron, but, I bet it wasn't, "YOU DIRTY MUTHA..FUC..N' ASIAN!".

I bet.

We all know that she didn't refer to his "TRIFLIN' TRICK ASS CHEROKEE AND....BITCH!" self.

Either.

Face it Tiger. You Black.

I'm sure she let you know it.

So. It's rather ironic that the one woman that we Black folk weren't exactly happy about marrying our "Great White Hope", turned out to be the one woman who actually did the one thing we Black folk always wanted to do.

Beat Tigers' ass for lying about who he was.

And just like with O.J.

We "understood"

And that my little friends, is Schadenfraude.

Now.

You understand.