CODE PINK CUNTS

SOMETIMES YOU FEEL LIKE A CUNT, SOMETIMES YOU ARE

My entire stay in Denver I have been amazed by the absolute niceness of the people here. Last night at dinner I had so many people come to my table to welcome me to Denver and ask if I was having a good time and how did I like Denver that I had to ask for a doggie bag so that I could finish my dinner in peace.

One guy almost ran me over on a dark street, it was totally my fault (I was texting. Imagine.). He stopped his truck and leaned out of the window to say he was sorry! Sorry! If you're reading this from Vegas you know what a bizarre concept this is. I have been clipped so many times in Vegas by car mirrors and then the drivers gave ME dirty looks!

One guy hollered at me downtown when I almost ran him down on my free GREEN DENVER bike. Even he was nicer than he had to be.

I mention all this not just to say it's crazy nice here, but, also to say that when everyone is SO nice it really makes the meanies, bitches, assholes and CUNTS stand out.

(For my older readers I REALLY APOLOGIZE FOR THAT WORD. But, sometimes, it's the only word that applies.)

CODE PINK ARE A BUNCH OF CUNTS WHO TAKE THEMSELVES FAR TOO SERIOUSLY!

Ok, let me take a breath.

I was exhausted after the roll call vote (not to mention WAY upset at how that was such a travesty of Democracy.). I had locked my GREEN DENVER bike under a perfect lovely tree. Little did I know that tree had a CUNT infestation. I saw a group of gaily dressed women ( and not in the Sapphic way, then they would not have been CUNTS.) and asked if I could ask them some questions about what they were doing.

WELL! I was informed that, "WE ARE IN A MEETING!" Now, I understood that and said, "may I ask you some questions after you're done?" "Where are your credentials? Who are you with!?", screamed one short haired CUNT who looked like a refugee from that awful "Return of The Secaucus Seven" movie.

Ok, let me 'splain sumting to you Loo-Cee. In this day and age at this convention everyone is a journalist. I have never seen so many people interviewing others with all manner of devices. No asks for your credentials! No one asks anything other than "will I be able to see this on the web?"

BUT I DIGRESS FROM DEREKS BIG FAT ADVENTURE IN CUNTOPIA.

Get this! One of the CUNTS says all sotto voce, "should we ask him to leave?"

STOP. If you have met me you have to know the look that Derek got on his face at that point.

Obviously, that idea didn't get past the focus group stage.

Btw, one really disconterting thing about this convention is the fact that everyone is very non-yielding on other viewpoints, but, we'll get to that in a bit.

Where was I? Oh yeah CUNTAPALOOZA.

So Adolf CUNTLER begins her "meeting" and all hell breaks loose. It was like a crunchfuck of "well, do we know exactly who is supposed to be arrested and is there a philosophical reason for getting arrested at 15th and Court as opposed to 16th and California?" Does anyone know where the parade is, I mean yesterday we were walking around forever and never did find the media."

Ok. Stop. Just for a minute.

These CUNTS were talking about getting arrested. When and where to get arrested. What effect each arrest would have philosophically. Does anybody see where I'm going with this? Even the most police hating person on earth has to understand that the police have far better things to do than arrest these Erma Bombeckian Joan Baez wannabes. There are donuts to eat and tourists to pose with but, NOOOO, these CUNTS want to get some media attention so that they can go back to Evanston and Menlo Park and tell their teenagers (who hate them for never have been allowed to to eat at Mcdonalds and now are totally over them) and their really boring husbands (who dingle their flaccid now balless members at adult bookstores) that they got arrested in '08 at the Democratic convention.

OOOHHH GRANNY WAS A SUFFRAGETTE!

CUNTS. Boring. Self Righteous. CUNTS.

So, it got really funny. Ok, all of a sudden it got like "The View". All of them were extrapolating on their "concerns" and talking at the same time. It was SO not Sarah Lawrence (Bunny, yuuuu muhst give Saffy her mow-muhnt on the flooruh. Just clinch your jaw when you say that. You'll get it.), not a manner or bit of politeness in CUNTLAND. So, their guy.

OH WAIT! I FORGOT TO TELL YOU! THEY BROUGHT A "MAN"!

AAAARRRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Ok, I'm laughing so hard at the terrible memories I have to compose myself.

If you don't laugh the ugly CUNT filled memories will keep you from moving forward. Or being able to take a decent shit.

Where was I? Oh yeah, their "man", who I guess is brought along to hold the bail money and occasionally be sent to rite-aid for K-Y (hey, personal satisfaction enhancers get dry.), says, "we are all talking all over each other(NOT THAT HE GOT A CHANCE TO GET A WORD IN EDGEWISE!). We should speak one at a time." Finally! A voice of reason! I can't possibly listen in on their "MEETING" if they all talk at once. I was waiting for someone to pass the "speech stick with the Navajo beading I got at a reservation outside of Santa Fe when I took the kids for their annual spiritual colon cleansing" (oh yeah, Johhny HATES mommy.).So, they talked about, honestly, I don't even give a fuck at this point. It was all so jejuene.

So, CUNTFEST '08 breaks up and I ask if I can ask a few questions. I explain that I'm really interested in why the do what they do. Of course at this point I SO know what they are all about.

To whit. Some priviledged white women are so bored with themselves and what their lives turned out to be (two twits and a hubby who won't be bothered to get up the passion to divorce them. They had their day in college because, well, looks didn't really matter at Barnard, brains and "passion" did. A Suburu Forrester or that awful Honda Element in the driveway when they really wanted a Mustang, but, oh those damn green footprint carbon things. They are really tired of making granola that no one in the house will eat (btw Mother Earth, they wanted Dennys Big and Frooty Rooty Patooty!) and honestly,they just don't understand why Carly Simon and James Taylor broke up.

Well, CUNTLER says to me in the most condescending voice, "we've had hundreds of media interviews." As if to say "YOU SIR, ARE A NOBODY AND WE, NAY, I, ARE FAR TOO IMPORTANT TO SPEAKETH WITH YOUR KIND".

And she was right.

Too bad for her I am just as self important as her and have a wicked tongue and now will send the story of the CODE PINK CUNTS all over the cyber world.

TO IFINITY AND BEYOOOOOONNNNNNNDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE ORIGINAL APPEAL LETTER

When I was asked to be a whip for the Democratic Convention as a delegate for Hillary Clinton I knew that come Hell or high water I had to ignore my total lack of funds and get there.

I only had one thing to sell and that was me (and I don't mean in a short shorts Freemont and 8th sort of way. I needed more than the $6.00 I was going to be able to raise that way. LOL). I felt if I just took a deep breath and told the truth I might just be able to pull it off.

So, here is the unvarnished, sometimes ugly, occasionally funny truth. Must have been a two hankie 'cause, I'M GOING TO DENVER!

Everybody give me a WOO HOO!

Hi I am Derek Washington.

I was elected at the State of Nevada Democratic Convention in Reno, Nevada to be an alternate delegate pledged to Senator Hillary Clinton.

Many of you who were there asked me point blank if I would be there for Senator Clinton until "the very end" at the convention? I said yes to you then and I say yes to you now. I gained your confidence and votes with my promise and I fully intend to honor that pledge.

More than wanting to be elected I have a very personal reason for my undying support for Senator Clinton. I feel it's important for me to throw aside my pride and personal vanity to tell you exactly why I am supporting Senator Clinton "all the way".

I came to Las Vegas almost three years ago to be a bigwig in the entertainment community. I figured with my impressive resume I was a shoe-in to get right into the mix of things here. Well, slow your roll missy, things didn't turn out quite that way. The stress of my dashed dreams led to my getting shingles. Let me tell you, if you've never had shingles you don't know death walking! As my grandmother would say , "honeychile.......".

After recovering from that I had a minor stroke (I was 44 at the time). Due to my continued health problems a doctor took it upon himself to perform an HIV test. I had told him not to but, thank god, he ignored me. He came to me and informed me I had 54 T-cells. In other words, I had full blown AIDS. My entire world changed at that moment.

Having no health insurance but the love of my family I entered into a world of government run healthcare services. No matter what you hear about our healthcare system, the people who implement the various programs are the most amazing group of people you would ever want to meet. They all could be doing something else with their college degrees but , like school teachers, they have decided to help people who don't have lots of cash and fancy insurance to throw at them. In my mind they saved my life. I honor and salute them.

Don't worry, I'm getting to the point.

During my convalescence I laid on my mothers couch for months not able to get up to change the channel for hours on end. I can tell you how to make fried Macaroni and Cheese wrapped in bacon courtesy of Paula Deen, I know how long it takes a termite to destroy a house, who were Hitlers top command and I've seen every movie made before 1969. In addition I became fascinated by politics. For days on end I watched the process play itself out and became a huge fan of Hillary Clinton.

Senator Clinton has dedicated her entire life to being of service to the American people. Some people look at that as the same old same old. I look at her service as the height of what it means to be an American. She embodied to me what an American can and should be.

When the Nevada Caucuses came around I forced myself off that couch. I packed a lunch and grabbed a book and boarded a bus to make sure I voted for Hillary Clinton.

The caucus process is the most ridiculous system I have ever seen in my life. The fighting amongst people was horrible. But, the process somehow energized me. I felt myself arguing with people about the differences between the candidates. When I asked the Clinton supporters why I should vote for Senator Clinton they had reasoned and well thought out points touching on healthcare, LGBT issues and then followed up with economic policy. They then asked who wanted to be a delegate.

Suddenly, I was no longer a weak HIV suffering basketcase. I raised my hand and said why I wanted to support Hillary Clinton. I was elected! From that moment on I have not felt weak and I have done everything I can to remake my life. I then went to our state convention in Reno, Nevada. I was energized more so than even years before I was diagnosed. I screamed, yelled, cheered and slept under a table until the bitter end to make sure my vote was counted for Senator Clinton.

Life had returned to Derek Washington.

I have been on disability for awhile now due to the fact that no matter how much I want things to be different I am still on the weak side. However, I am not the type to sit around and wait on a check. I have signed up to begin studying at CSN to become a family therapist specializing in non-traditional families ( single parents, LGBT,seniors raising grandchildren, etc.) and I have an internship with Clear Channel communications which will help me hone my media skills to help the people who need the help the most and to help the Democratic Party.

Ok, now the point of this admittedly long email.

I have been asked to be the whip for the Hillary Clinton delegation from Nevada! Can I just say YIPPEE! I have never in my life been so honored. To be involved in such a historic event would be the highest point in my life which will be followed by many more high points.

Honestly, I can't afford to go to Denver. I had given up on the idea. But having been given such an incredible chance at being a part of history I have decided that I can't give up without a fight. Senator Clinton said that Americans don't give up in the final seconds of a football game because we're losing. Nor shall I!

I am asking for donations to get to Denver. I have never done such a thing so, honestly, I'm completely out of my league here. I will say this, I will take the cheapest possible way (which I believe is a bus to Reno then the train to Denver) and I will gladly post all donations online and account for all money spent the same way. Any money left over will be donated openly. I assume anyone donating would want that money to go the Democratic party somehow though I am inclined to donate directly to homeless people on the streets of Nevada (I'm thinking of buying lots of those freeze dried dinners and actually handing them to people.). Either way we can have a vote to see what the best way to dispose of extra money, which I hope there will be. If anyone has done this before maybe you can email me with suggestions. If I don't raise enough money then I will return the money that has been donated.

Obviously, time is short. Can you please help me help Senator Clinton? Btw, I will support the Democratic nominee. I am not a "bitter" etc, person, I do feel until the process is over I must honor my promise to the people who elected me and I must thank Hillary Clinton for getting me off my moms couch.

Thank you for reading this (very long! LOL!) email,

Derek Washington